Read at the Service of Thanksgiving, 5 May 2015

I first met Ian nearly 45 years ago when he was a geography teacher at the Wilmington Technical School, as it used to be known in those days.

However, it was some 10 years later that we became friends when I joined the Dartford Crusaders and where, as John has already mentioned, Ian was one of the leaders of that group. I had just set up my own home and Ian soon started to demonstrate his caring and considerate nature through many little acts of kindness, such as helping with the shopping and buying my Saturday newspaper.

It was events like these that brought out Ian’s true character. Always willing to help others and never seeking favours in return. Ian took pleasure in finding ways where he could be genuinely helpful, such as providing a lift in his car to the shops or the station, or like rushing to the airport with our passports after I had mistakenly left them behind – on more than one occasion!

As I developed my interests in travel, Ian was keen to introduce me to his native Scotland. I was lucky enough to sample the simple pleasures of Ian’s cottage that he once owned on the banks of the Moray Firth. And we also enjoyed a fabulous railway journey to the west of Scotland where Ian first introduced me to his brother, Hamish, who was at that time a manager at the bank in Kyle of Lochalsh. We made several visits to Hamish and his wife Muriel in the years that followed, especially after they moved back to Fochabers, close to Ian’s childhood home of Elgin. I think Ian and Hamish had been very close and Ian was always pleased of an opportunity to visit Scotland, be it to explore the wonderful highland scenery or sample the Hogmanay festivities at the George hotel in Edinburgh.

When I later obtained a pilot’s licence and bought my first small aircraft, Ian was an eager passenger, or maybe I should say guinea pig. Since my training had been mostly in America, I was unused to flying around the UK and on one occasion we experienced what pilots refer to as being “temporarily unsure of our position”; in other words we were lost! As a geography teacher, I should have perhaps listened more closely to Ian as somewhere near Bury St Edmunds, unbeknown to me, the aircraft’s radio was stuck on transmit and our lively debate about where we were was being broadcast over the airwaves for all of air
traffic control to hear.

Luckily my navigation skills improved and we started to venture further afield. Ian accompanied us on further trips to Scotland and also to France where Ian’s French language skills were frequently put to great use. Going to new places and meeting new people was something Ian particularly enjoyed. But he also liked to entertain people at home too and would often invite friends round for a coffee or to share a meal; nothing too sophisticated, just a simple dish lovingly prepared and an opportunity to talk.

I think Ian somehow liked to experience life through the eyes of others. He always expressed a great interest in even the simplest of details and wanted to know where you have been, and who you have seen, and what you have been doing. This is what endeared him to so many. He was a truly humble man who was happy to sit and listen to people talk about themselves and he took much satisfaction in the accomplishments of others without trying to put himself first.

I think Ian would be the first to acknowledge that he was not a practical person but I think he underestimated his own gifts and his ability to befriend so many of us. This is perhaps why he was so good as a teacher, he never tried to say this is the way it is or this is what you have to do. He didn’t try and impose his own way but just allowed people to learn for themselves. And this was especially true when it came to his Christian faith where Ian’s many simple acts of kindness spoke far louder than words.

Of course, Ian never married and had children of his own, but I think in some ways he saw me as a son and, in return, I was glad to bring him into the fold of my own family. Apart from Hamish, Ian had few close relatives. But Ian has remained an honorary part of my family and it is clear from the many people here today that Ian was loved and admired by many people and we are all here to mark Ian’s contribution and enrichment to our lives.

In the last couple of months Ian used to say frequently ‘what a waste’ as he described his condition and gradually deteriorated under the effects of Parkinson’s disease. He became increasingly frustrated at not being able to meet and look after his friends in the way that he had liked to do. For someone who had strived all his life to show compassion and kindness to others, the limitations caused by his disease were particularly difficult to bear.

However, when going through Ian’s paper’s I came across the following passage in an album which I think had belong to Ian’s mother. This was written in May 1910 and it seems as relevant to Ian today as it did more than a hundred years ago:

If instead of a gem or a flower we could cast the gift of a lovely thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving in the way that angels must give. So long as we love, we serve; so long as we are loved by others, we are imperishable, and no man is useless while he has a friend.

Ian, you were a good friend to so many of us and we will all miss you greatly.